Just if i could be more perceive

How it would be if I went home soon?

How it would be if I gave you more attention back then?

How it would be if I could be more interest?

How it would be if you could be more patient?

How it would be if I still meet you after what you did to me?

How it would be if i told you about my feelings towards you?

#SHORT STORY: A piece of art from your cigar.

You were an art for me,
A big blue blue sky on my dark universe
A surprising sunshine in my rainy days
An air conditioner in my car on a sunny day
A piece of blanket on my bed
A bunch of stars on the night sky
A campfire in the middle of woods
A beautiful and odd but cool presence

#SHORT STORY: A Broken Track.

What do you feel when I call you home?
Does it still feel the same like the first time?
What do you feel when I look into your eyes?
Does it still make you blush and shy?
What do you feel when I lay in your arms?
Does it still feel tingling like the beginning?

#SHORT STORY: The Leftover

If I could go back to 1000 days ago, I would buy 1000 bubbles and throw one of them every day. So it would be a reminder for me, that nothing will last forever. So it will remind me how much time that remain between us. So it will me teach me how to be grateful for every second that I have with you. To say apologize, thank you, and also good bye. Because I didn't get a chance to say it. No, actually I got it, but I wasted it. I threw it all away, to do some unimportant business that I thought it was a proper priority.
I know you always called my name in silence, between the wind that came through the window in your hospital room, wondering where I was. And I was very naive to realise it was my last chance to be with you. And there again, I always walked away.

sweet but bitter reminiscence.

I can’t deny that I want you back,because it feels like we've got undone business and I wanna make it straight. But when finally you come back and I wanna make it clear,not surprisingly,you become something like that again. Hard to keep,blurry,but addicting. I know I shouldn’t feel disappointed because there’s enough sign that tells me you will never gonna stay. Even all of my friends already warned me. But you always send me this hurricane that oddly,makes me feels alive. I never ask anyone to stay,but please for at least once in my life,stay. But I know when you leave again,I’ll be ready. The blame is on me.

dear,over thinker.

"The more you try,the more it's hard to get."
Sometimes I believe in this statement. No matter how hard you try,no matter how big is your effort,if it's not what meant to be,then it's not. You will not always get what you want. Even when you give all of your strength,all you can give,or all you can bare,you're not always getting there. It hurts,but that the truth. For some people,doing something is as easy as flipping their hands. But maybe for me,it is as hard as flipping the whole sky. Impossible to do and will never happen to me. I used to believe that there's nothing impossible in this world. Indeed. But sometimes,it just will not coming to you. Or simply,you won't always get what you desire. Especially what you desire the most.
Something that blurry and hard to keep is so much challenging. And oddly,doing this kind of

I'm a Catastrophe. // SHORT STORY

I don't know that things could be so uncertainly. I mean like right now. I don't know what's going on. I'm just walking on a same way over and over again. I don't know what's my next step. It doesn't mean that I wanna know but can't find the answer. I just don't know because I wasn't trying to find the answer. Honestly,I don't wanna know the answer. It seems like I don't know what to do but also I don't wanna know what I have to do. I've never been like this before. I used to know where I wanna go. I used to have plans,even back up plan for the worst scenario. But right now,it just a blank space.

Maybe all of these happens started from.....

Everything She Whispered to Me: You Should Use Short Skirts. // SHORT STORY

*This is a serialised story called "Everything She Whisper to Me." You better check the previous chapter before you read this one.*

"You know what funny about Ethan?" She asked me a tricky question while we're listening to "She's a Thunderstorms" by Arctic Monkeys.
"No I don't." I answered it genuinely.
"He's so cute. He even has dimples on his cheeks. But he's so dumb."
"What? Why? He's not dumb. He always save his team during football match." I confused.
"He's dumb for dating Jessica and not you."
"Jessica is beautiful and pretty hot. All boys will die to get her. You know that."
"That's why I hate life. People are so fuckin dumb. And they take their life for granted. They don;t appreciate that times already gave them so many chance to be a better person."
"I don't get it. What to do with Ethan? Dating Jess doesn't make him to be the bad guy. He didn't take his life for granted. He live so well. he even go to church more often than me. We know that."
"I don't. I've never been to church with you. I don't like the idea of going there."

Everything She Whispered to Me: I Try to Get to Know Her. // SHORT STORY

*This is a serialised story called "Everything She Whisper to Me." You better check the previous chapter before you read this one.*

May,15 2009

I try to know her. She wasn't that bad. I mean she has quite lot of similarities with me. And beside that,I enjoy talking with her. She likes thriller movies just like me. She said her favourite movies is "Identity" and "The Number of 23".It's surprised me because they two are my favourite movies too. And she also listening to good old songs like me. She said Paul Anka's song keep repeating inside her head and she couldn't stop it. This one is really weird too. Because I also obsessed with his song too. Especially, when he sang "Put Your Head on My Shoulder". It feels like his voice seduces my ears. And I really enjoy it. She said,
she enjoy it too.
I don't know..But I think I start to like her. She made me do something I've never done before. She makes me feel great and stronger,somehow. Because of her encouragement and persuasion,I talked to Ethan yesterday. Ethan is my classmate. But,I have like a big crush to him. But I never talked to him yet. I mean we talked. But only important things. Like talking about the homework

Everything She Whispered to Me: First Hi. // SHORT STORY

May,9 2009
07.30

I was taking a shower when someone,a girl,whispered on my ear. "Hi".
And then I looked back and there was nobody there. I thought it was my sister messing around with me. But then I realised that she wasn't home. I tried to ignore that voice because maybe I was just confused and maybe it's not a voice maybe it just my thoughts or maybe it's my neighbour's voice. But then when I was sleeping tonight,she came again. And this one felt so real. She just not whispering but she raised her voice a little bit till I wake up. And again,there was nobody inside my room but me. So I start talking to her.
"Who are you?"
She didn't answer my question. So I got back to sleep. But not long after that she answered it.
"I'm me"
I was so shocked to choke. And then I grabbed my phone and try to turn on the flash light but then there she go again saying
"You will not see me. I'm only inside your head."

p.s.
image source: http://blog.seeminglee.com/2009/09/see-ming-lee-by-gregory-hull-sml-thank.html

#SHORT STORY: Things I used to Believe but Now Has Gone

             

credit to the right owner

               People say,in the edge of 17th,you will find who you are,what you want,and where you wanna go. But I don’t. All I can see is just a blank space. I don’t know who I am,I don’t know what I want,I don’t have any place to go. Actually, I don’t have any destination. I don’t even have any next step. I feel so scared. I feel like everybody is gonna leave me. But I guess they already left me since a long time ago. Or maybe,I already left them since a long time ago.
               Being abandoned is totally sucks. I used to do everything with this one friend. And we were so loyal. We shared our dreams and stories. We decided everything together,and thought about everything together. I feel so

Waiting for The Rain to Fall

Last year,I wrote a story and I sent it to cerpenmu,com. And surprisingly,they accepted it and published my short story on their website. If you want to read it (which is something that definitely will make me very happy :D) you could KLIK HERE.

So get your self a cup of coffee and start read it:)
It's kind of a sad story,but also has a bright side. So if you feeling down or sad,I hope my short story could comfort you.

All Love- N

p.s this is not my drawing. it belongs to the right owner.

The Closest One. // SHORT STORY

“I gave all my oxygen to people that could breathe
I gave away my money and now we don't even speak
I drove miles and miles but would you do the same for me
Oh, honestly?”

Suddenly my music player play this song on their track list. I have to admit that this song is totally a great song and reflect the way I live these whole time. Even when Ed Sheeran has finished the end of this song,this song will stuck on my mind for days.

The hardest question that I’ve ever asked to my self is ‘what will they do if you don’t forgive them and choose to let them go?’ ‘will they stay?’ ‘or just leave?’

To Somebody that I used to know // SHORT STORY

REMINDER

This is a trilogy from "a girl and her feelings"

You better read the previous story RIGHT HERE AND HERE :)

To : Somebody that I used to know.

Hi. It's been a while since the last time we talked.
There are so many things that I want to tell you. But I don't know how because you've been so unavailable. But first of all,Happy 18th birthday. I can't believe we grow up so fast. I wish all the best for you. And I wish you many happy returns.
With this small present,I wanna send

losing him. // SHORT STORY

source: goo.gl/ykRhoQ

It's 1.30 AM in the morning and as my new habit,I can't sleep. The reason why I can't sleep is usually,because there's something that stuck on my mind for hours,or maybe days,or even weeks. There's something that,bother me and annoy me until I drown my self in a my own tears.  And here I'am. Sitting in the middle of my house,writing,and drinking a cup of coffee,that totally make everything worse.
The reason why I'm writing in this blog is because,I have no one to talk,or maybe there are some of people,or if we could call them 'friends'. But I'm pretty sure they already tired listen to all of my shit. So,I wish I could

that girl and her feelings. // SHORT STORY

Source: https://favim.com/image/4244822/

Hi guys. It's 2 am in the morning and I can't sleep. I keep repeating HONNE's song on my playlist and wishing it would be my lullaby but it doesn't work. My mind just so full of thoughts and that makes me sick. So here I am. Trying to talking with somebody because I will consider that all of my friend is already slept.

So do you know what's stuck on my mind? Everything. This circumstances.
I'm 17 years old right now and turning 18 in a couple months. But do you know that I've never been in a serious relationship? Well,I know maybe all of girls in this age would never had that serious relationship. But what I mean is,I never had