#SHORT STORY: The Leftover

If I could go back to 1000 days ago, I would buy 1000 bubbles and throw one of them every day. So it would be a reminder for me, that nothing will last forever. So it will remind me how much time that remain between us. So it will me teach me how to be grateful for every second that I have with you. To say apologize, thank you, and also good bye. Because I didn't get a chance to say it. No, actually I got it, but I wasted it. I threw it all away, to do some unimportant business that I thought it was a proper priority.
I know you always called my name in silence, between the wind that came through the window in your hospital room, wondering where I was. And I was very naive to realise it was my last chance to be with you. And there again, I always walked away.

You always proud of who I am, which made me feel so sad because actually, I'm so inappropriate and so far from the word perfect. I even used to blame you for every bad things that happened to us.
You always see my good. But I'm not. I'm full with lies and stupidity. 
Every time I feel tired, you give me warmth
Every time I feel sad, you give me hand
Every time I feel unlucky, you give me lights.
You always sacrificed the most so every one will be happy.
You willing to do or give anything you have to make every thing works well.
All the days will be gone, and I keep turning.
Moving but freezing.
The air feels so icy and I got no hand to hold.
The way feels so long but I got no home to shelter.
I just wanna hold you and hug you. I wanna take you to the place you've never been. And if I only got one chance I will make it best. Because I'm dying and falling apart inside. Even if I only meet you in my dream, it always brings me tears.

p.s. I really miss your laughs when you watched the comedy show in the TV.
And I miss your voice when you're calling my name from the kitchen.
Please forgive me.