losing him. // SHORT STORY

source: goo.gl/ykRhoQ

It's 1.30 AM in the morning and as my new habit,I can't sleep. The reason why I can't sleep is usually,because there's something that stuck on my mind for hours,or maybe days,or even weeks. There's something that,bother me and annoy me until I drown my self in a my own tears.  And here I'am. Sitting in the middle of my house,writing,and drinking a cup of coffee,that totally make everything worse.
The reason why I'm writing in this blog is because,I have no one to talk,or maybe there are some of people,or if we could call them 'friends'. But I'm pretty sure they already tired listen to all of my shit. So,I wish I could
talk to somebody whoever read this just to make me feel better because my mind now is so full of shit and I feel like it's gonna explode soon.

Tbh,there was one friend,a real friend,who used to listen to all of my stories and never feel bored about it. But now,he becomes one of the reasons why I'm over thinking.
We've been friend for years,since we were in Junior High School. We have so many similarities that makes me comfy to talk to him. I know him so well. Almost everything about him,I guess. I know what he's afraid of,or what's his favorite food,or what's his fave song. I thought I knew everything about him. But I was wrong.

We used to talk each other every single night. we talked about how was our day and about what happened today or even about our future and we used to imagined it all together. We had that one dream that no one knows but us. We used to made a beautiful and sweet promises and it also a secret that we keep together. And we used to helped each other during our bad times. And I thought,we knew each other.

If someone ask me who you trust the most,I will choose him. I count on him. And he was totally fine with that. Until that day. He's totally change and that makes me confused.

Maybe I was too deep into this friendship and I feel like I don't want anyone take him away from me. So it started when I asked him to go out with me after the exam. And he rejected it because he said that he already promised other girl to go out with him the same day. And suddenly,I felt so angry. I felt like who's that girl and did she really important to you more than me? Actually he already apologized but I was too damn angry and disappointed. So I ignored him.

After a week we didn't talk each other,I decided to contact him first because I know that I was the way too over reacted. So I called him and I said sorry and he said it was fine. But then,after that day,he's totally not the same person as I known.

I was so hella confused. And I don't know what I should do. I already tried to talk to him again but he said that it was fine (again) and he said that maybe he can't be that opened to me again like the way we used to and he even said sorry. I don't even know what the hell it means. I asked what's the reason and he said that he can't tell. He makes me feel like he wanted to dumped me and walk away from my life but with the nice way and it hurts because I thought that he was the one. I'm so tired of being disappointed by other friends when I already tried to do something nice to them. I'm so tired of losing friends and not find the good one. I want to stop being that girl who always think about other's feelings without realising that my own heart is in the edge of breaking.

I really need him back. Whenever I feel sad and I feel like no one wanted me,or when I feel so worthless and useless,I always think of him. And right after we talked,I always feel inspiring and enlightening. But now,He just disappeared,and I feel so empty. I thought that our friendship is pure and last forever. And for God's sake I still hope that our friendship is real,and keep real forever and after.

Because right now I really need him,right now,I'm not in a good condition and I'm so desperate. I feel like everything crumbling down,and I really need him to stand by my side. I hope he'll come back. And please forgive me for whatever I've done that makes you want to avoid me. I really wish you still wanna be my friend.

Sincerely,
Nanda Prasanti.

source: goo.gl/PUFlG7

p.s 

• This is just a fictional short story. And kind of a random midnight thought. So if you interest,get yourself a cup of coffee and keep reading! :) Thanks for your visit. :)
• I don't own any pictures in this article. They belong to the right owner. And if you feel like it yours,and want a watermark or in any case if you want me to delete it,just comment down below :)